My classmate Esty!

Esty was my classmate, and a special friend.   We studied together, went to class farbrengens together, and enjoyed chuckling in class together.  Esty always had a sweet smile on her face.  She was not much of a "talker."  Everything she said had a genuine purpose, i.e. to help a fellow classmate. Not only did she lend out her notes to anybody and everybody who would need them, she also gave countless hours to students who needed a little extra help.  When I close my eyes and think of Esty, I can almost hear that genuine soft spoken voice.  She would not argue.  There was no time for that.  She was simply put, a true tzadeket...pure, simple, and a great accumulation of Mitzvos.

Esty, I miss you

and your lovely smile.

May your Neshama have an Aliya

Love,

DL Kaufmann

-----

Shalom Rubin and Cohen Families,

I learned with Esty, a"h, in Bais Chana seminary in Tzfas. As many have said before me, what I especially remember about Esty is her exceptional aidelkeit, her refined behavior, and her sweet smile. Though Esty was very, very bright, she did not flaunt her talents in any way. She was always tznius and Chassidish and focused on doing the right things the right way. I attached a picture of Esty from that year we learned together.

I would like to let you all know that a few women in the Tzfas English speaking community organized a young mother's support group l'ilui nishmas Esty. In the first meeting, twenty women participated, k"y. There is a really wonderful achdus happening. The group reads a chinuch article and discusses personal challenges, followed by a constructive goal planning session. The group plans to meet every 3 or 4 weeks, providing support, encouragement, and practical application of chinuch methods for many young families. IY"H this will bring much nachas and zchus to Esty.

It has been so uplifting and humbling to read the essays that Esty wrote and have been posted online. Thank you very much for making these public.

May your families know of only good health and happy occasions, and most of all, may Moshiach come right now!

Sincerely,

Dinka Kumer

Dear Esty

Dear Esty,

Forgive me for taking so long to write but knowing that you understand......

Since you have left us I can not stop thinking how much I miss you.

I think of your beautiful and gentle smile that communicated such friendship, thoughtfulness and understanding. I remember our recent conversations, your cute giggle and genuine interest what was going on in my life and my families lives.

I will always treasure those memories of how you came to visit on Shabbat afternoons with your kids, I always looked forward to your company. Whenever i called you, you made me feel good and appreciated .

I have always treasured the letter you wrote to me when we moved , and over the years I have reread it many times. Your beautiful style of writing touched me more then words can say .

I am sure that upon high your imploring for the well being of your dear husband and wonderful children.

I still can not believe I am writing this to you .

Please Esty beg Hashem to finish, this way to long, Galus and we will be reunited with you again .

Lots of love 

Nechomale  

------

Dear Rubin Family,

I don't know why it took me so long to write, maybe the pain was just too fresh, or maybe the reality is taking a long time to sink in.

I enjoy reading through the blogspot, although I couldn't do that for long, because tears, kept blurring my vision.  I feel like Devorah Leah wrote out the way we all feel, in her heartfelt poem. 

Although I wasn't able to make it to the Shiva, or to the shloshim,  Esty has been on my mind every day.  My baby's bris and Avraham Tzvi's bris were on the same day.  When I look at my Yisrael and think that he has a cousin the same age, without a mother, it tugs painfully at my heart, tears come to my eyes, and even more so when I think of her  other children.  Then I stop myself from getting caught up in those sad depressing feelings and I remember her smile. 

I remind myself that I am a mother, and today I have a gift and an opportunity  to smile at my children, and to let them know that I'm there for them.  I want to make the most of this precious opportunity.  I know that that's the way Esty lived. Although I may get caught up in other details, this is all that really matters.  I remember Esty well, and very warmly.  We were the two "big" frum girls in Albany.  I remember walking through those long white hospital halls  with Esty and my sister Aidel to deliver challah, a flower and some Jewish reading material to the Jewish patients there.  We must've been really young going in on own, but it was something we always looked forward to doing.  I also remember that before I went to my first summer in Camp Emunah, I was very excited because Esty would be there. Then I found out that I was going to be in Tiny tots ( that's how it was called then) and she would be in Big Emunah.   Esty told me not to worry and that she'd come to visit me on Shabbos.  It turned out that I was very homesick, and didn't know anybody there.  True to her word, Esty came on Shabbos to visit me, and that made me feel so much better.  In fact that's the only thing I remember from that whole summer experience.  I have some memories of  us spending those long shabbos afternoons, at our house or hers playing Uno games , playing on the bunk beds, and of course, laughing a lot. 

When I think of Esty, I know  that she was someone who never told people what to do, the proper way to act, dress, etc  Rather she herself was the Leibidige Beishpile- a living example of a proud frum, chassidishe woman, mother and wife.  Looking at Esty spoke volumes, She encompassed the concept of kol Kvudah bas melech pnima.  Simchas Hachaim.  I reminds me to do less talking and more being.  Actions speak louder than words.

May Hashem dry off our tears and make this separation be a very short one.  May we be reunited with Esty really soon with Moshiach, 

Love,

Fruma (Chanowitz) Rosenberg
-----

Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I sit down to reflect on Esty's life, impact, and the family left with the empty place of a queen isn't here anymore, and whose place can never be filled.

Esty, as I read your diary, a diary that we shouldn't be reading until 87 years from now, with many more entries; those of your son's Upsherin, Bar/Bas Mitzvah's, watching your daughters and sons grow up, dealing with Shidduchim,becoming a grandmother...I find myself seeing the world for the first time through your aidel, beautiful, positive, caring, and gracious eyes.

Although you are one of my older cousins, I got to know that you never wanted respect, attention, or admiration.  But, as you said in your speech at the Kinus, you felt the responsibility to be a role model from a young age, and at 33 years old, you left us all irrevocably inspired by who you were during your painfully short time with us.

Being that its just past Rachel Imenu's Yortzeit, I'm thinking of how you'll continue to watch over your children.  Devorah Leah told me of how much you spoke to your children about your siblings, making sure the physical distance didn't keep them from being close to their aunts and uncles.  Now, we will all have to do the same for you, continuing to help them stay close to you, speaking about you, and continuing to give your love to them.

Zaidy Rubin A"H imparted his children, Yisroel, Rachel, my mother, Sara'le, and grandchildren with the feeling that we're one small family unit.  Tanta Rachel, Uncle Yisroel, Mendel, and dear cousins, I know I speak for all my aunts, uncles and cousins, when I say that we're broken and shattered by your pain, and you are always in our hearts and our thoughts.

Rachel Federman (Chanowitz)

A smiling mother

When I picture Esty I do see
A smiling mother embracing her child on her knee
So too we
Our children need to be
our first priority.
Once while I went shopping on the street
Esty I did meet
We stopped and had a little chat
about the shopping that we were out to get
with a shine in her eyes
she took me by surprise
That she does fresh shopping every day
to serve her husband in the best way
A fresh cooked meal for lunch she would prepare
For her and her husband to share
She had it all right
who was first in her life.
we too can learn and glean
what sholom bayis to us should mean
Her action spoke louder than words
Let's do more mitzvos for her zechus
Since every single act
can help bring Moshiach at last

Growing up in Albany

Growing up in Albany, NY, I always looked up to Esty throughout my elementary school years, for she was one of the only older girls here.  She was a role model for us, just by being her tznius, aidel self.

She used to take us every Friday to cheer up the Jewish patients in the hospital.  She never minded taking us along even though we were so much younger than her.  I clearly remember her contagious giggle that we heard so often.  She was always smiling and happy.

Even when she went away for High School, she was always happy to see us when she would come back to Albany to visit.  I am definitely davening a lot harder for Moshiach so that Esty will be back with us.  May he come right now!

Rivke Dubroff

Esty's Bas Mitzvah

My favorite memory of Esty was her Bas Mitzvah.  We were all so excited, our first Bas Mitzvah in Albany, since Esty was the oldest girl in the school at the time.  Esty was the first Bas Mitzvah girl who gave the women's shiur in the summer on Shabbos day. It was usually given by her mother, Rochel, or other women.   Even though she was always so quiet, Esty presented a beautiful shiur on the parsha!  She had such poise and spoke so beautifully.  My girls were 8 and 6 then, and I was so happy that they had Esty as a role model. 

Esty was indeed aidel, tznius, and always smiling!  I still smile when I remember her sweet laugh.  Although Esty didn't come to Albany much since she got married, we always were so thrilled to see her at family weddings with her very sweet children and her wonderful husband, Mendel. 

We will all miss her very much, but the most beautiful memories of Esty are kept alive by her exquisite writings that we are privileged to read.  What a gift for her children, and for us! 

Shayna Kudan

Esty’s wedding

Growing up, I always looked up to Esty for she was an older girl. She was always so put together, happy, and positive about everything. Whenever she would come and visit at school, I always liked to talk with her. She was so easy to get along with. She had no pretences or fakeness. She never looked down at me for being younger and for that I really admired her. 

Esty’s wedding was the first wedding I ever went too and I was so excited to go. When I saw her at the wedding, she was so beautiful and radiant. There was a long line of people waiting to wish her Mazel Tov. As I waited, I had so much to say but I knew this was her wedding day and I should just wish her Mazel Tov. When it was my turn to wish her Mazel Tov, she spoke to me as if she had all the time in the world.

That truly meant a lot to me.

Esty was such a beautiful person. For those who saw her on the outside saw a sweet, aidle, and kind girl. For those who knew her on the inside, knew how even more beautiful and special she really was.

Sincerely,

Sarah Aidel Calvo

Tzniyus...who we are

I met Esty in Teen Camp. For me, who felt like a stranger in a strange new land, being friends with Esty was so refreshing. We were both writers, but she took it more seriously and wrote for camp. I'm not sure if it was a camp newsletter, or something like that. But I really, really enjoyed her. She was fun, and funny, and cute, and creative, and unassuming, and smart. 

 

She never felt like she had to join the cool gangs, ever. But she was so nice to everyone. I wish I kept up with her. She was just so enjoyable, so real, so true. I am devastated by her passing, and just thinking about how her husband and parents and children suffer pains me so much.

 

I feel like remembering Esty is bringing a whole new level of tzniyus into the world, a level of tzniyus that doesn't just have to do with how we dress, but who we are.

 

Hashem should comfort Esty's whole family together will all aveilei tziyon.

 

Nechama Dina Smith

Esty's Diary

Dear Rabbi Rubin and Rochel,

It was a shock to hear about Esty and her tragic death, as many have written. 

I remember Esty as a little girl, when Rabbi Rubin would pick her up and place her on his lap during a women’s shiur after my Jonathan was born.  On and off the lap, as she pleased, with a patient Rabbi Rubin letting her absorb what she could at her own level for her own age.

I always wondered what she would look like when she became an adult.  She had those chipmunk cheeks of the Rabbi and his nose, and those gorgeous large eyes of Rochel.  Seeing her photo as an adult, now online, I behold a very beautiful woman.  More than that, I have read her diary, and her entries reflect how truly aidel she was.

Esty's vignettes reveal a young woman embracing life, but not just life in general...her particular life. When Rabbi Rubin was working to establish Chabad in Albany, he probably didn’t realize that the  “the little room” he had created as an office would evoke memories of enchantment that Esty described:

"Oh! The little room! You can spend hours in the little room…I just sit there at night, I look through the papers and articles. I read on and on… it’s so interesting…You can dream away, and imagine all kinds of things. It’s like a world for itself. Our little room. A miniature world about Jewish things."

And Rochel, so busy with children, the house, the school, still had time to become Esty’s “dearest friend.”  Wouldn’t every mother love to be depicted as Esty disclosed:

"I know I can trust her, so I tell her what is on my mind or what is bothering me…After I speak with her, I feel more calm in my situation…Maybe when I become a mother someday, I may also be a best friend to my daughters. I’m sure we will be close, sharing our secrets with each other. I will always be there to listen and to try to give advice…I feel proud to have a best friend like my mother!"

Certainly Esty inherited her father’s writing talent, and with it, she articulated the honor, love, and respect for her parents, so much so that she chose the same lifestyle for herself and her family:

"Ashreynu ma tov chelkaynu! Me, just a young girl and l‘m the Rebbe’s Shlucha. The Rebbe’s very own messenger. Ashraynu, Happy our we! How joyous is our lot!"

Rabbi Rubin once taught that you can’t teach a child about baseball by only reading the rules; you have to play the game.  The same is true of Judaism.

Rabbi Rubin and Rochel, you should be proud of yourselves that you created and fashioned a young woman as Esty Rubin Cohen, an Eyshes Chayil. Her diary will become as influential a book for Chassidus as “Anne Frank’s Diary” is for world peace.  Her online entries, I am sure, have already inspired many people.

As you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, please remember that you have family and friends who love you, and faith to comfort you.

.המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים

With love and condolences to the entire family, indeed to the world,

Edie Abrams

A True and Complete Queen of Hashem.

Bh. Ad mosai!!!

My name is Tzippy Vigler and I am Esty's classmate. We were also together in Melbourne for Kollel. I got to know Esty's treasured personality.

Her name is an exact show of who Esty is! She is both a queen and aidel, a true and complete queen of Hashem.

We had a real example of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka in our class. Esty is a real treasure full of middos; Tznius, warmth, depth and tranquility!Kol kvuda bas melech penima!

I will be taking on an area in Tznius because of what Esty stands for to me.

Thank you for sharing Esty with us, may we be reunited with her in Moshiach's coming now!!!!

Ad mosai, In bitterness,

Tzippy Vigler

I keep thinking

Dear Esty,

I miss you so much.

I could never have imagined that this could happen,
that my sister,
one
so unique and fine in her modesty,
so content,
so real in her happiness for others,
careful in doing mitzvos, big and small,
so accepting and non-judgmental,
so steadfast and secure in her beliefs
would now be far away.

It is so rare nowadays
in this world of falseness
to have a person so modest, so pure
untouched by anything wrong or improper
and yet who lived with values so sure,
above the rest

You were so proud of Mendel
and thought the world of him
what a special couple for us to see growing up
and your children
how you loved them
the many gifts you gave them will keep them strong.

You were proud of the things your siblings have done
you never needed to toot your own horn
you never expected anyone to hold by your standards
or to owe anything to you

I can truly say you lived a life that is dear by G-d
though in my eyes are tears
you were a beloved daughter,
wife and mother
friend and sister
granddaughter
in these too short years

I thought you'd always be there
your strong and soft self
so it never seemed a rush to call or write or fly
now I would a thousand times
but you're so far away.

So with love and stabbing pain
taking sides of my heart
and memories
of my beautiful older sister
of whom I cannot part
who taught us so many songs
was a great listener for me
whose values were real, not materiality
who laughed and cared
and surely brought this world to a better place,
I ask you to bring Moshiach,
I have never wished for it so much

You need to be back
so many important things you've left behind
we all agree
a mother should be
with her family
not somewhere far away

There is a big hole that used to be whole
in the hearts of many
and I know you are watching your husband and children
those beautiful people who had you
and until the day you're back again
a piece of you will be in them

I cannot stop missing you and I am going to do all I can to bring you back again.

Love, Devora Leah

A Glimpse

The pain and tragedy of this loss is immense. It is indescribable in plain words.

Such a beautiful, pure soul.

A dedicated wife and mother.

A loving daughter, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter.

A wonderful sister, sister-in-law, cousin, and  niece.

A devoted shlucha.

The loss is being felt by so many!

 I got to know Esty in Bais Rivkah High School.

Although she was a few classes younger than me, and I didn’t know her that well personally, she always inspired me with her sweetness and sincerity.

Now, reading through her journals and writings, we merit to get a glimpse into this tremendous treasure that Esty truly embodied.

Her talk at the kinus hashluchos was so inspiring and so relevant today: “Shlichus is a dedication. A lifelong commitment. lt’s easy to speak about it, but it is a lot more than words can say. Talk is cheap, but actions speak louder than words.”

How true –Esty your life so embodied action, yet without all that extra fanfare….. actions speak louder than words!

Esty, we are in such pain because of your untimely loss- we have been jolted out of our golus dream and stupor. We feel the birth pangs of Moshiach so intensely now! And we are trying very hard to ‘keep on pushing’...We pledge to do whatever we can to  merit that time that we are all so desperately yearning for-

To have Esty be reunited once again with her dear family & friends- in good health & happiness-

with the Geulah haamitis v’hashlaima-NOW!!!!  

In tribute to Esty and her dedicated & loving erev-Shabbos hospital  visitations, we are iy”h strengthening our commitment to do just the same, on a regular basis in the local hospital in our neighborhood.

Bassie Gurary

Tehillim

My friend and I had come up to Albany to help out for Chanukah -there are so many memories and much inspiration of the two weeks spent in the Rubin's house. The total dedication to the Rebbe's shlichus was/is phenomenal.

Esty was about 5 and eager to share something special with me. Could I come to her room? I imagined a toy or doll or maybe an art creation that she would show me. No, it was something more precious - Esty was now "so good at kriah" that she could "really read tehillim". And she wanted me to listen as I sat beside her on her bed reading "a whole perek".

When she was done, with light shining in her already bright eyes, she gave the sefer a kiss and practically flew dancing to set it on the shelf! May we and our children, in her zchus, be inspired to say tehillim and fulfill every mitzvah with such awe, love, excitement, and care.

Be Well,

Esther Rena ( Reifsnyder ) Grossman

A True Bas Melech

Dear Rubin and Cohen Families,

I had the zchus to sit next to Estie in High School, we were in the same class every year in Beis Rivka. We were together in Seminary Tzfas. Her refined character was exemplary. She was a true bas melech, and truly penima- a true Esther and truly Aidel. Even though I was with her for so many years, her writings and life was always something I found intriguing because she kept so private.

Estie and I are the same age, we married around the same time, and our children are the same ages. I haven't been in touch with Estie although we would always exchange a few words when we would see each other at the kinus- which she attended last year. I made Challah and davened together with so many for her Refuah. That night I had a dream that I saw her, and she was walking away. Her face was shining, she looked so happy, free, and truly beautiful. The thoughts of her sudden tragic passing haunt me.

In her memory, my husband and I will Bez"h be starting a Gmach for new mothers and babies here in Philadelphia. We will Bez"h bl"n be delivering a package of basic needs- such as diapers, wipes, and perhaps a stretchie to the home before the baby comes home from the hospital. I think Estie would appreciate this. May her memory be blessed.

May Hashem give you Koach to stand through these difficult times.

Hamakom Yenachem Eschem Bsoch Shaar Avlei Tzion Veyerushalayim

Doba Weber (Bergstein)

I mamash feel for all of you. It's so not fair what Hashem had done! I remember...it was just yesterday when I would go with Esty to do the hospital visitations in Albany, or when she would come over to learn with us and teach us a sicha, and bring some Beis Rivka inspiration to us.

She was so real, always trying to be the best person possible, in a very quiet and tznius way. She had no "air" to her, very humble and aidle. She never talked about herself like most girls do.

How could Hashem have done this? She has a bunch of little kids and a newborn baby that needs her, and how is Mendel going to run the school without her!? I don't understand Hashem at all, but we must daven ever so hard for Moshiach! Ad Mosai!!!!!

Miriam Rav-Noy

Esty’s Face

At that moment Sarah walked by and told me. Tears were just running down my face. But then I began the shiur. I was teaching about the Gate of Love from the book “Orchos Tzaddikim”. Was this subject coincidence?

I met Esty only once, I think, it was Sukkot. All that I remember is her sweet face, radiating such unbelievable love. When I was teaching about love today, Esty’s face, reflecting her pure soul, was all the time in front me. She was with us right here.

All our love to you,

Hasia and Gershom

Esty

It's crazy how you can go so long without seeing someone, but still have such a clear memory of them and such a strong feeling towards them.  I can clearly see Esty's beautiful soft smile and hear her sweet voice.  

Even though my memories of her are back from when she was in Maimonades or when she was my counselor at camp, I am sure the person she turned into was even more sweet, beautiful, deep, kind and strong person than I remember her to be.  She was the kind of person no one could say anything bad about; the kind of person people only had praise for. 

I am so sorry your family is experiencing this unspeakable tragedy.  My heart and thoughts are with you and your family.   

.המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים

Sincerely,

Sara (Stark) Kalker  

"My" Esty

"My" Esty

The loss is beyond words. I grew up next to the Rubins in Albany, and babysat for them for years and years. I knew them from when their oldest boy Mendel was two. I saw Esty as an infant, as a toddler, a child, a youth...the Rubins were my second family, better than blood to me. Esty was the sweetest child, the loveliest girl, so beautiful and so special inside and out. Gentle and sweet. 

The loss is unthinkable. I have not seen her in years but I cannot stop crying. She was dear to so many, and grew up into such a wonderful woman. She did so much with her life. The whole Rubin family has been a source of such inspiration and love over the decades, and their children carried their legacy around the world. Love to the Rubins, and the Cohens, and may Esty's memory stay alive in all of us.