My Best Friend

From Esty's journal entry recently found, (written between ages 12-15) Chapter 35: (page 87)

My Dearest Friend

Although that I’ve had many good friends, the one who lives through my day to day lives is my mother. We do everything together. My mother and I, we go shopping, go to the library, talk together and take walks. We help each other out. I help her with the kids in the kitchen, with the housework and laundry. She helps me with my homework and gives me good advice when I am in trouble. I know I can trust her, so I tell her what is on my mind or what is bothering me.

My mother’s always there to give me a kind word, simple advice, and a smile. Now that I am away from home, I may feel homesick; have trouble with my homework or with friends. I keep in touch with my mother. She calls me and I tell her what’s happening in school. After I speak with her, I feel more calm in my situation.

Maybe when I become a mother someday, I may also be a best friend to my daughters. I’m sure we will be close, sharing our secrets with each other. I will always be there to listen and to try to give advice.

I feel proud to have a best friend like my mother!

The Little Room

An entry from one of Esty's recently found journals. (Written between ages 12-15)

Chap 32 (80-84) “The Most Interesting Place I Went To – The Little Room”

You asked us to write about the most interesting place we’ve ever been to. Some girls will write about exotic places and faraway lands. I don’t have to go very far. Just down to my basement, right past the hallway and across the Pesach Kitchen, is what we call “The Little Room.”

My father’s little room is lit by a small light-bulb hanging from a string from the ceiling in the basement. My father is a Rabbi, but not just the shul kind, he’s a Chabad Shliach that has almost every job in the world, as long as it will help bring another Jew closer to Yiddishkeit.

This little room is full of my father’s gimmicks. There are big Shabbos candles made of wood, and dreidels that light-up and spin around on record-players. There are big round smiling Matzos for Pesach, and beautiful Menorahs for Chanukah. Oh, and there are stickers! Rolls and rolls of them… Some say to Eat Kosher and have a delicious hot pizza on them, others say Learn Torah – it’s the real thing! Some stickers say to buy a letter in the Torah.

It’s a small room and it always seems that there’s never any more room. But when it gets too cluttered in Tatty’s office upstairs, and Mommy says it’s time to throw things out, my father gives us things to take down to the little room.

A magazine, a calendar, or a bookmark... He’s always spreading these stuff out on tables and sorting them.

Oh! The little room! You can spend hours in the little room. You can sit on boxes and open file cabinets and read things. You can browse through albums with pictures from years back when Chabad still had a Kosher hotdog cart! I peel off the stickers, read a cute article and pull out buried stuff…

There are miniature Sukkahs and exhibits from Jewish fairs. Over on the right are big walls made of wood. One is a painting of the Kremlin, the other of the Western Wall. I just sit there at night, I look through the papers and articles. I read on and on… it’s so interesting.

You can dream away, and imagine all kinds of things. It’s like a world for itself. Our little room. A miniature world about Jewish things. It’s not a book or a sefer, but it is full of ideas how to teach what it says in the Torah to other people who can’t read black and white. They like to see things colorful, full of life and fun. Like the things in the little room. Just to make Jews love their Yiddishkeit…

Queen Esther: The Person I Admire Most

 An entry from one of Esty's recently found journals. (Written between ages 12-15)

Queen Esther: The Person I Admire Most

The person I admire most is Queen Esther. She risked her life and saved her people, the Jewish people, from being destroyed by the wicked Haman in the land of Persia.

I admire her for her strength, modesty, humility and her faith.

Her strength – in keeping the Jewish people together and united to stay as a nation although the times were hard.

Her modesty – Although she was good looking and pretty, she did not show off her beauty.

Her humility – Although she was the queen at the palace, she did not show off to others.

Her faith – She kept the Shabbos. She had seven maids for each day of the week, so each would not know that Shabbos was different from her daily schedule. She still kept Kosher, only ate fruits, vegetables and seeds. She  trusted and had faith in Hashem that all is for the good.

Since I was also named Esther, I do my best to bring out her ideals and follow in her ways.

If I were Elected President

An entry from one of Esty's recently found journals. (Written between ages 12-15) 


If I were Elected President

If I were elected president, it would be pretty exciting! Imagine not only the 1st woman president but also the 1st Jewish President!!

First, I’d throw a party for all my friends. Everyone would be excited for me! Then everyone would give me advice on how to lead the country: 

Nechama Dina would advise that I should emphasize education strongly. The knowledge will guide people on the right path, away from crime, etc. it will give people jobs, happy family life, & surely better perspective on life itself. Education, Indeed, will cut down on Drugs,homeless, alcoholics ,& crime rate.

Chanie would offer: to develop & increase everlasting peace& tranquility throughout the world, in order that the world will become safe, and at peace with one another.

And now I would give my own idea: that although there needs to be a separation of church & state, religion in school should be applied, so that students will know & realize G-d. And they come to fearing G-d.and knowing that there is a G-d in this world, knowing that there is a boss over us, knowing that there is purpose in life, these all bring about the right values to a person in succeeding his/her proper goals in life.

Rabbi Hecht Memories

From Esty's journal entry recently found, (written between ages 12-15)

Rabbi Hecht (Memories)
6 Av 5752 Wednesday August 5th 1992
....Today I wrote a “memory of Rabbi Hecht z”l article,” for his yartzeit is next Fri. & we’re sending some articles to the Jewish Press.

Here is the poem that I enclosed:
Rabbi Hecht was the Daddy of us all
He would run when someone would call
He would outstretch his hand
To all those in the land
He would jump, he would sing
One’s who heard him, their ears would ring
For he would help stop their hurting
To follow in his footsteps we shall try
& in this we’ll soar so high.

Here’s the article that I wrote:
Rabbi Hecht z”l, gave his heart to Camp Emunah. He touched,with great sincerity, the lives of many girls who were once lost & far from yiddishkeit.
No one will forget their warm atmosphere & fond memories and wonderful experiences spent at Camp Emunah with Rabbi Hecht.

On Fri nite, he would sing  עֲצַבֵּיהֶם, כֶּסֶף וְזָהָב;    מַעֲשֵׂה, יְדֵי אָדָם. He would jump when he would sing. He wanted to make others happy. We knew that he cared for each & every Jewish soul no matter how high or low it stood.

His entire life was giving. Giving his hand to carry another’s burden, giving his heart to one who needed someone to care, giving his smile to encourage, & giving over himself to whomever needed him.

We will continue his goal of giving of what we have to those who have little background of yiddishkeit; we will care for our fellow Jew.

“You can take girls out of Camp Emunah but you can’t take Emunah out of girls” is Emunah’s motto, meaning that a girl might leave Camp Emunah, but the spirit of Emunah will never leave her heart.

Be Happy

From Esty’s Journal on becoming a staff member at summer camp

… getting into that place (camp as a staff member) was a parsha (saga) on its own. I didn’t know if I would go there. I wrote a P”an (letter to the Rebbe, after his passing) that I want to find out what to do for the summer, and that I want to be happy with where I go. I knew I was asking a little too much with the second thing, but it was important to me.

Being happy is one of the most important things, because you can have everything, but not be happy, and then what is it all worth? I knew I should just be happy that I find a place, and v’zehu. But the Rebbe can do a lot. A day later the girls (staff) said I could come! So you see that you don’t have to be afraid of asking too much.

At first I was with older kids, and then they wanted to change me to the 4th and 5th year olds. That felt like an insult, and I told them I didn’t want to. In the end, I changed, and I was very happy.  Yeridah Tzorech Aliyah (descent for the sake of an ascent)…

Come see Crown Heights!

Chapter 29 (72-75) Crown Heights (written in 1991 for a school travel essay)

Crown Heights is a busy place! People from all over the world come here – Israelis, Frenchies, English and more. Even from its name, “Crown Heights” is on top, the crown of the heights!  “What is so great about Crown Heights?” you may want to ask. Maybe if I will write four more pages of vivid detail you will begin to marvel at the “crown of the heights.”

First let us start with the Lubavitch community and the wondrous Lubavitcher Rebbe. Their headquarters are at 770 Eastern Parkway (the red brick building that serves as a shul for Lubavitchers, the Rebbe and to all Jews far and wide…) The Rebbe is very close to his people, the Chassidim. He guides them in the right path.

Every Sunday, the Rebbe gives out dollars, to men, women and children, each one individually receives a dollar and a blessing, too! The Rebbe gives a dollar to reinforce giving of Tzedakah. The Rebbe is really very special. It’s amazing how people from all over the world come to see him in 770, the so very crowded Shul.

The shopping avenue in Crown Heights is Kingston Ave. It’s bustling with activity; people are coming and going. There’s Raskin’s Fruit Store, the Pharmacist, the Floral Shop, the Shoe Store, Bookstore, clothing store, Women’s World, the Hat Place, the Library, and the Bagel Shop. There’s a nice Lubavitcher school for girls, here, too! It’s called Bais Rivka. (In fact I go there!)

Here the houses are closely attached, it may cause one to get claustrophobic. There’s not too much greenery either. But the warm atmosphere of Crown Heights makes up for all the slight inconveniences.

Crown Heights is a lively atmosphere: girls are laughing, women chatting, boys playing… People are open and friendly once you get to know them. As in most communities, there are all types of people. Some are outgoing, some shy; some talkative, some quiet; some are formal, and some are casual. You may meet creative people with interesting personalities. Crown Heights is an interesting place to visit. You will meet new people and experience another world.

Come see Crown Heights!

Some Beautiful Thoughts on Crown Heights

From a Journal/Diary Entry of Esty

I always liked my home better than Crown Heights. Maybe it’s because it’s my home and I’m more comfortable there. Also, I don’t like the politics, the “Tznius issue” and in general the insensitivity.

Of course, the Rebbe being here makes Crown Heights a really special place. In 9th grade I really felt it. Unfortunately, that was the first Chof-Zayin Adar. I also had an excellent grade/class in school. I really enjoyed High School.

This is my sixth year in Crown Heights. In High School a lot of Friday Nights I would walk home and cry because I couldn’t stand how people were dressed to the kill. I was the little 9th grader coming from out-of-town Albany. In the beginning I always felt underdressed. You may wonder why I am saying all these negative things, if the title is “Some Beautiful Thoughts on Crown Heights.” But all this is an introduction.

On Selichos Night (1:00am) it was so unbelievable to see young and old all walking to Selichos at 1am. The first shul was packed, right then I changed my mind about Crown Heights. Look at all these busy mothers coming. Hashem, look at your children. How can you leave us without our Rebbe who led every step of our way. Everyone really means well, it’s just that peer pressure and circumstance makes it become otherwise.

The next event that was an eye-opener was the night before Erev Yom-Kippur. (Uncle) Yankel Yuzevitz took me and his kids to Kapores. The streets were blocked off. There was everyone from Crown Heights, Kapores-Shluggen. It just felt like Tishrei from the old times. I can’t describe the feeling. You just needed to be there to feel it.

The third inspiration was Yom-Kippur itself. I really wanted to go home, but it wasn’t really worth the money and the schlep, when I am going soon for Sukkos. I am so glad I stayed. Usually, I always went home for YomTov, because I am an out-of-towner and I wanted to go home.

I had a seat on Bubbe’s row, three rows from the front, in the first shul on the left, closest to the Aron Kodesh. I was sitting next to Aidel (Feigenson) Pinson. I worked with her in Long Island.

Many people had come for Tishrei. It was pretty squishy. Many of my classmates from Tzfas came, too. A Lubavitcher davening is beautiful and hartzik. The Lubavitcher Niggunim are also like that. But it so sad to see the Rebbe’s red chair staying there and just empty. Everyone was so temimusdik, it was just beautiful. The Duchening was also unbelievable. Neilah was really the climax.

At the end of Neilah, the sang a niggun, many times, over and over again. The Shofar blow really felt like the cry within each one of us, I felt we would finally break down the Galus walls.

As I was walking home at the end, I thought, Ashreynu that we are Lubavitch, I really had an experience this Yom-Kippur. I finally had found the beauty in Crown Heights after five years…

Shabbos Candles

From a Journal/Diary Entry of her brother Yossi's Bar-Mitzvah

Teves 19-21 5752 / Thurs-Shabbos Dec 26-28

Dear Diary,

At about 2pm, I went to deliver flowers, along with a card, a Challah roll, and of course, a smile to the Jewish patients at Albany Med. It felt good inside, to see that even some of the patients were appreciative (although some couldn’t show it) and it was good even to see the encouraging smile of the nurses. I couldn’t help it but feel proud that I could give them a taste of Shabbos/Yiddishkeit.

By the time I came back all the cousins were here… and it was almost Shabbos.

As I waved my hands 3 times around the Shabbos candles, I felt calm, peaceful, and full of warmth. No words can describe the wonderful feeling a girl / woman has, as she brings in Shabbos with the waving of her hands, and her soft and gentle Bracha. Just the experience says it all.

It was the time to realize the special and holiness of Shabbos. I looked beside me. Here was my cousin: Nechama Dina Piekarski, only a year younger than me. And there was another cousin Sossy Zaklos, just two years older than me.

How fortunate am I to have such a big family, ka”h, with so many cousins and close friends. These are the special people with whom we share our happy memories and even the sad ones. How fortunate am I! … I thought to myself.

Thank you for listening dearest diary, love always, Esty Rubin