Esty's Diary

Dear Rabbi Rubin and Rochel,

It was a shock to hear about Esty and her tragic death, as many have written. 

I remember Esty as a little girl, when Rabbi Rubin would pick her up and place her on his lap during a women’s shiur after my Jonathan was born.  On and off the lap, as she pleased, with a patient Rabbi Rubin letting her absorb what she could at her own level for her own age.

I always wondered what she would look like when she became an adult.  She had those chipmunk cheeks of the Rabbi and his nose, and those gorgeous large eyes of Rochel.  Seeing her photo as an adult, now online, I behold a very beautiful woman.  More than that, I have read her diary, and her entries reflect how truly aidel she was.

Esty's vignettes reveal a young woman embracing life, but not just life in general...her particular life. When Rabbi Rubin was working to establish Chabad in Albany, he probably didn’t realize that the  “the little room” he had created as an office would evoke memories of enchantment that Esty described:

"Oh! The little room! You can spend hours in the little room…I just sit there at night, I look through the papers and articles. I read on and on… it’s so interesting…You can dream away, and imagine all kinds of things. It’s like a world for itself. Our little room. A miniature world about Jewish things."

And Rochel, so busy with children, the house, the school, still had time to become Esty’s “dearest friend.”  Wouldn’t every mother love to be depicted as Esty disclosed:

"I know I can trust her, so I tell her what is on my mind or what is bothering me…After I speak with her, I feel more calm in my situation…Maybe when I become a mother someday, I may also be a best friend to my daughters. I’m sure we will be close, sharing our secrets with each other. I will always be there to listen and to try to give advice…I feel proud to have a best friend like my mother!"

Certainly Esty inherited her father’s writing talent, and with it, she articulated the honor, love, and respect for her parents, so much so that she chose the same lifestyle for herself and her family:

"Ashreynu ma tov chelkaynu! Me, just a young girl and l‘m the Rebbe’s Shlucha. The Rebbe’s very own messenger. Ashraynu, Happy our we! How joyous is our lot!"

Rabbi Rubin once taught that you can’t teach a child about baseball by only reading the rules; you have to play the game.  The same is true of Judaism.

Rabbi Rubin and Rochel, you should be proud of yourselves that you created and fashioned a young woman as Esty Rubin Cohen, an Eyshes Chayil. Her diary will become as influential a book for Chassidus as “Anne Frank’s Diary” is for world peace.  Her online entries, I am sure, have already inspired many people.

As you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, please remember that you have family and friends who love you, and faith to comfort you.

.המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים

With love and condolences to the entire family, indeed to the world,

Edie Abrams